Sunday, November 21, 2010

Someone Once Told Me...Time Flies.

How many times have you heard the phrase, "Time flies?"  Joey (my oldest child) told me the other day that he couldn't wait until he could drive.  I told him to enjoy being eight.  After the words came out of my mouth I realized what I had just said.  No longer was it me on the receiving end of those words.  I was telling my child.

Soon after having Joey, I remember going through quite a difficult time.  Joey was colicky and cried all the time.  I will save this story for another post.  We were invited to a friends house for dinner.  This well seasoned women had walked through this part of life already.  She was in the middle of her own battle and  had become an empty nester.  I will never forget when she told me, "Time flies."

At the time, I couldn't wait for Joey to grow out of this stage.  Many days I counted down the hours until bedtime.  Often I would think, "It will be easier when he starts sleeping, crawling, walking, etc."  She continued to tell me to find joy in being a mom every day.

As I looked at her, I felt her heart.  I could see how saddened she was that the season I was in, was gone for her.  She blinked, and her babies were now adults.  That amazing woman changed the way I did motherhood.

Throughout all stages of our lives we are constantly being reminded of the most precious of commodities.  The one thing that you can never get back...time.  Think of all the songs that are written about it.  You know the ones I'm talking about.  The ones that you hear when you are driving, and before you know it you're sobbing.

When Joey graduated Kindergarten, the teacher tortured us with a beautiful DVD of our children's pictures that had been taken throughout the year.  It showed them growing and enjoying all that school had to offer.  There were pictures of recess, field trips, class parties, new friends, and the all important first day of school shot.  We parents sat and watched while many of these sappy songs played.  The one I couldn't forget was called, "Let Them Be Little" by Billy Dean (a country song of course).  The lyrics included phrases like, "faster than a flower blooms, they grow up way to soon," and "so innocent, a precious soul, you turn around and it's time to let them go."  I sobbed all the way through. 

The image of Joey in his crisp new school clothes flashed through my mind.  I saw him standing with that brand new backpack proudly on his back.  He wore his bus tag around his neck, anticipating what the bus ride would be like.  We eagerly, and I fearfully, waited for the school bus to come.  I remember him running across the street and hopping on that bus.  I watched it drive down the road with tear filled eyes.  Joe hugged me and reassured me it would be alright.  In that moment I felt such sadness.  My firstborn son would now be spending time with another woman.  She would be the one to see many "firsts" that I would only hear about in stories. 

Then sadness began to slowly leave and I felt happiness.  I was happy that I sent off a confident boy.  A boy that felt safe to leave me and venture out on his own.  Even though I would not be there to see his "firsts", I would be the one to whom he came home to share the stories.  As that video ended those same emotions flooded my heart.  Sadness first; followed by such happiness and pride.

Here I am three years later.  Joey is in 3rd grade and 8 years old.  Every single day I picture that moment when the doctors first laid him on my chest.  All five of my senses captured that moment.  The smell of his skin; the sound of his cry; the sight of perfection; the way his skin felt on my lips as I kissed him; the way he fit so perfectly in my arms as I held him.  It is a memory that a mom will never forget.  It is the day our lives changed forever.

On a day when I am pulling out my hair and doing the bedtime countdown (which is more often than I'd like), I replay all the things the kids did that made me smile.  Today I can remember many things.  Elia bounced through the house holding Jadon and Joey's hands.  She called for Christian to join them.  They all bounced by me laughing together.  Grace is sick and would not settle down for bed.  We got her out of her crib and she watched some of the Colt's game with us (what a depressing loss).  I was able to spend some alone time with the boys at a birthday party.  During that time I watched them try new things, listened to their giggles, and burned memories into my brain.

When the time comes and my children become adults, I want to have so many memories stored in my head that I can live off of them until I die.  That will make me so happy. Time flies.

I am certain there will be many posts relating to this topic.  It's something I think of daily. 

Enjoy this song.

2 comments:

  1. You are such a good mother, you get IT! Thanks for making me cry by the way.

    -Kristen

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