To Cut or Not to Cut?

My body created life.  Life changed my body.  Parts that were once tight and firm are no longer, tight and firm. 

I probably missed opportunities to try to restore my body to its youthful prime.  It was after the fifth that I really started to work on it.  My baby making days were over so I had no more excuses.  The rationalization for not being conscious of my weight was I would just get pregnant again.  What was the point of losing weight just to gain it back?

After we were certain we were done having children, I worked hard.  I carefully watched what I ate and was able to lose 25lbs.  That was quite an accomplishment.  Then, I quit.  Seven more pounds would get me to my “pre-pregnancIES” weight. 

Unfortunately, I am convinced those seven pounds consist of the giant mass of fat on my stomach.  This giant flab hangs over all of my low-rise jeans.  I refuse to wear the “mom” jeans.  All shirts must be cut carefully to disguise this nasty display of fat.  That is a nightmare in itself. 

People and magazines tell you to be proud of your new mommy body.  Of course these are the mommy magazines.  Sure, I am proud of the fact my body made five beautiful babies.  I am not proud of the mommy body.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be super skinny.  There is extra baggage in my butt, on my thighs, and dangling off my arms.  I can deal with that.  The doughnut on my stomach needs to go.  My husband thinks I’m hot and I appreciate that.  I want to think I am hot.  I’m just being real here.

This mom of five wants to wear a bikini again.  I’ll wear it in my backyard for my husband to ogle me.  This mom of five wants to go into Victoria’s Secret and buy a bunch of lingerie.  And feel sexy in it.  I want to come home, put it on, and rock my man’s world.  I am definitely not as comfortable in the bedroom anymore.  You may think I’m insecure or self-absorbed; but whatever.  This has nothing to do with anyone but me.

This year I will enjoy the holidays.  I didn’t eat anything last year that wasn’t healthy.  I’m not doing that again.  When January comes I am committed to hitting the gym again and trying to work off this gut.  I am not sure how long I will do it.  Women keep telling me it’s never going away.  They are liars.  I’ve seen enough women who made their fat go. 

So: to cut or not to cut?  I’ve looked into it a little.  And by “little” I mean that I Googled it once to see what it cost.  I don’t know anything about it.  What I do know, is that I plan on living a long time.  I’m not sure I want to do it with 10lbs of fat attached to me.

Mom’s go through a lot to bring these precious lives into the world.  We are poked, prodded, stretched, and violated.  I think a little plastic surgery may be ok…maybe. What’s the harm in a tummy tuck; and a boob lift while we’re at it?  This mom worked hard.

Before you judge you should know, I haven’t scheduled an appointment or committed to anything.  I’m just thinking out loud here. 

My kids and husband love my fat.  I love who I was created to be.  A little fine tuning would be nice.  I will say I am against many other forms of plastic surgery.  So maybe I am being a hypocrite.  But that darn Victoria’s Secret bag keeps calling my name. 

Thoughts?