Monday, November 21, 2011


I am wearing... my "frumps", as my husband affectionately calls them.  Frumps are basically any non-sexy, comfortable clothes.  At the moment it's a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt. 

I am wondering... if I forgot anything important that is school related.  It's becoming more difficult to keep track of three boys in school.  Everyday, three agendas need signing, homework needs sorting, snack days need planning, certain clothing needs to be worn on a certain day, certain items need to be sent in for certain events, and money is always needed for something.  Joey is in chorus and now plays the trumpet.  That comes with keeping track of practicing, making sure he's prepared, and having him dressed appropriately for every concert he sings at in school.  It's a lot.  I miss things sometimes.  I try really hard not to, but I do.  There are still two more girls to add to the school mix.  Phew.

I am thankful for... well, everything!  It's thanksgiving week, so it's been on my mind.  We have so much to be thankful for.  When I start to complain, I count my blessings, and it makes the complaints seem ridiculous.  I'm so very thankful.

I am overwhelmed by... I actually don't feel overwhelmed by anything today!  Really!  Now I feel the need to mark this date down in the calendar!

I am eating... plain Cheerios with my girls, no milk, while watching Bubble Guppies.  I'm also drinking a cup of coffee from the Keurig with Bailey's Cream Brulee creamer.  No, there is no alcohol in it.  Gross. 

I can hear... the Bubble Guppies, obviously, but I can also hear Gracie breathing.  She's all up on me.  She's getting big.  She's not a baby anymore.  It makes me sad and happy all at once.  Her breathing floods my heart with memories.

I am going... to try my "Rain Jet" Rainbow attachment at naptime.  I am anxious to see how it works on the ceramic tile, hardwood floors, and white vinyl in the kitchen.  I am going to try it, if I don't take a nap.

I am hoping... my friends burden feels lighter today.  She is amazing and beautiful and does things I could never do. 

Around the house... it's a mess.  I don't clean over the weekend because we're so busy.  When Monday comes, it's a war zone, hard hats recommended.  Usually I'm tired on Monday because of the busyness, which makes the cleaning even harder to accomplish.  I did clean out the fridge and scrub it already.  Score one for the mom.

One of my favorite things... worship music.

Random pictures for sharing... (I hope they stay best friends forever)

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Case of the Missing...wait for it...

this blog is intended for women only.  be advised. 

GRANNY PANTIES!  For crying out loud, where are all my granny panties!?  I suspect my husband has been secretly stealing them and throwing them out.

There are two occasions that call for granny panties; that magical time that comes once a month, and after delivering a baby.  Since I will never again deliver a baby, I just need my buddies for my period.  Period.  Am I grossing you out or do you feel me on this?  Holla!

Besides, my granny panties aren't all that bad.  They are the Hanes bikini briefs that don't ride up.  I think they say "no wedgies" on the package actually.  Really though, who feels sexy during that time of the month?  Anyone?  Why must I wear sexy underwear then?  My husband disagrees.  He hates the grannies.

Granny panties are on my shopping list this week.  Do you wear the grannies?

Friday, November 11, 2011

Five Question Friday

1.  What's the last thing you spent too much money on?

Sigh.  My newest member of the family...Mr. Rainbow Vacuum.  I'm frugal.  I don't purchase items with such big price tags.  But, after seeing this...

I decided we must have one.  It sweeps, and washes hardwood floors, and shampoos carpets, and purifies my air, and much more.  It was worth every penny.  That's what I keep telling myself.

2.  What celeb chef would you like to make you dinner?

I don't even know how to answer.  I love cooking shows.  I love Top Chef, Hell's Kitchen, and everything on Food Network.  With all of the cooking shows I watch, you'd think I'd like to cook.  I don't, not at all.  So, if I could have a celeb chef cook me dinner, I'd have to pick Wolfgang Puck.  He's cute, he's got an accent, and he says it like it is.  OK, or Gordon Ramsey for the same reasons.

3.  Where do you hide things when visitors pop over, or do you let them see the "real deal"?

If you pop over without giving me a five minute warning, you're getting the real deal.  If I get the five minute warning, I will at least sweep up the cheerios, throw any loose toys back into the playroom, and get any dirty dishes shoved into the dishwasher.  If I did that quickly enough I also like to wipe down the tables.  They're always dirty.  I have five kids.  My house is never spotless.  Never.  Let me really emphasize that, NEVER!  I think most of our friends and family love us in spite of our dirty houses.  If not, oh well.

4.  Who is your oldest living family member?

I'm not 100% sure.  Candy, if you're reading this, I apologize.  I think it's my great grandmother in Florida.  Grandma in Florida is her name.  She lives close to the beach and I think she's in her nineties.  We use to stay with her and my great grandpa when we went to Disney.  She's Polish and likes to feed people.  As old as she is, she's still young in spirit.  Now I feel compelled to see if I'm right about this answer.

5.  What is your favorite DQ treat?

Gosh, we don't go there much.  We once this year after pumpkin picking and spent over $30 bucks on ice cream for the seven of us!  When I was a kiddo, it was the peanut buster parfait.  I remember saving all of the fudge and peanuts for the end, and then wanting to puke because I was so full.  I prefer the local ice cream stand or plain ol' Mickey D's for a cone.  I do like the new "mini" blizzards, but the price is a rip-off.  Sorry.  It's true.

Happy Veteran's Day!  Enjoy the long weekend!

Five Question Friday brought to you by

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Christian Gets Grossed Out!?

Christian is having a hard time staying in his seat on the bus.  He likes to bounce up and down and talk to the girls behind him.  This is a problem.  I decided to reward the positive behavior, instead of repeatedly disciplining the bad behavior.  If he behaves all week and does not get in trouble, he gets to have a friend over on Friday. 

Christian is super excited about this.  He happily hops off the bus each day and tells me how well he did.  He's three for five.  Yesterday, he rambled off the names of everyone he wanted to come over on Friday.  Based on the number, I'm guessing it was the entire class.  Well, maybe not the whole class.

He said he did not want to have *Bernardo over.  I asked him, why?

"I don't want *Bernardo to come over because he is really gross!" he emphatically said.  He was adamant and very serious.  This was no joke to him.  I then asked him why *Bernardo was gross.

"He chews on his fingers and he spits out his gum!" Christian explains.

I don't really see the big deal at this point.  All kids are gross.  What kid doesn't do something like this?  My kids do this!  How nasty could *Bernardo really be?  Before I could finish my thought or say another word to Christian, he blurts out, "AND HE LICKS HIS LUNCHBOX!!"

His voice shrieked and his lips curled with disgust.  He was completely grossed out.  I found it comical.  I've never seen the boy grossed out before.  He is gross.  All of my children are gross.  Why was this boy freaking him out so much?  I was biting my lip so I did not laugh out loud.  This conversation lead to a discussion about making sure to include everyone, even lunchbox lickers. 

I have a sneaking suspicion he may throw the whole challenge, just so he doesn't have to risk a play date with *Bernardo.  We'll see.

*Names have been changed for anonymity.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011


"Time to Tighten the Reigns" lead to "Battle Banana" this morning.

 I woke up feeling refreshed and happy to see the sun shining.  Joey was just rolling out of bed and the other two were on the couch watching TV.  Like everyday, I gave them two choices for breakfast.  Today, they could have cereal or a granola bar and a banana.  Joey picked cereal.  Jadon and Christian picked the latter.  They all sat at the table and began eating.  I got the girls out of bed and came back down to check on them.  Joey had already put his bowl in the sink and the other two were sitting there fooling around.  A half of a banana sat in front of both of them.

I told them both to eat their bananas.  At that moment, I had declared war.  Battle banana had begun.  I had no idea what I had just gotten myself into.  Jadon began freaking out.  Really freaking out.  Christian's eyes filled with tears as he sat there quietly, inwardly freaking out.  Joe hadn't left yet, so I cheated and sent them upstairs, with their bananas.  I was really trying not to lose it.  If you've read any other my other posts, you know Jadon is my strong-willed child.  He debates every issue, and not quietly.  Today was no different. 

The two smallest boys marched into my bedroom.  I told Joe what was going on, as if he hadn't heard.  I'm sure he was irritated.  I was irritated.  My pleasant morning was taking a turn for the worse.  He sat on the edge of the bed and told the boys they would be eating their bananas.  I stated my case and reminded the boys they chose a granola bar and banana for breakfast.  I began reciting the following in my head...They like bananas.  They eat them all the time.  I wasn't asking them to eat broccoli.  I just want them to eat half of a stinking banana.  There are starving kids all over the world that would love a banana.  Why on earth does this have to be so difficult!?  Shut up, Amy.  Do not feel guilty.

I went down stairs to pack their backpacks.  I knew they would not be coming down anytime soon.  I knew they were going to miss the bus.  If we were going to tighten the reigns, they had to eat the banana.  Joe was doing the tigntening this morning.  Jadon was screaming and was completely out of control.  "The banana is slimy!  It smells like milk!  It's turning brown!  I'm not eating this stupid banana!  I hate bananas!  You're so mean!  I'm going to throw this banana at you!  This is disgusting!  I'M NOT EATING THIS STUPID BANANA" he screamed uncontrollably.   Christian was still sitting on the floor, quietly refusing.  He was being just as defiant, only without the noise. 

I went upstairs to check on the progress.  Nothing.  I lost my patience and yelled.  Then I cried.  I stink, I know.  I left the room, knowing I was not helping my husband.

Joe came down a few minutes later and got them new bananas.  (I suspect he would have made them eat the slimy bananas if he did not have a dentist appointment to get to.)  Jadon and Christian each ate half a banana.  They did not die. 

I felt bad that I wimped out and made Joe deal with this nightmare before work.  I need more patience.  I need to not yell and just follow through. 

I got the kids in the car and drove them to school.  I kissed them and told them I loved them before they got out.  I also told them I didn't like their behavior this morning, and said tomorrow will be better.  I am hopeful. 

Monday, November 7, 2011

I am NOT a Child Anymore

After a deep cleaning session upstairs, I made my way downstairs.  I got about three steps down, when I stopped.  A light bulb turned on in my head.  A smile formed on my face.  I quickly hopped back to the top of the stairs.  The kids were quietly watching TV.  I stood at the top, staring down the eleven steps.  Should I do it?  I had to do it.  My stomach was doing somersaults.  The somersaults made me feel like a wuss.  I felt like an old, boring, adult.  This was not acceptable.

At this point I threw all caution to the wind and sat at the edge of the steps.  I counted to three in my head and gave myself a slight shove off the top step.  I began to slide down the stairs on my butt, squealing like a kid as my tush banged against each step.  My descent happened way faster then I thought it would.  I slid down really fast, in spite of trying to slow myself down with no avail.  As my butt hit the hardwood floor on the bottom, I screamed out in pain.  Jadon came running over to see what happened.

I explained to him what I had just done.  After all, I remember sliding down stairs all the time as a kid. This memory is what spurred the idea.  He should have this experience as well.  Jadon couldn't understand what I was explaining, so I showed him.  Again, I flew down the stairs on my butt.  He giggled with pure delight as I slid down.  I grabbed on to the railing and hoisted my fat off the ground.  My behind was already hurting.  What was I thinking?  I am not a child anymore.  I am a grown woman!  I can't be sliding down stairs.  What if this leads to early onset arthritis or something?  At that point I was feeling completely ridiculous.  I am not a child anymore, but I certainly do not want to be an old, boring, adult.  I climbed those stairs and did it one last time.

My butt hasn't felt the same since Saturday, but I have no regrets.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Time to Tighten the Reigns

Do I need to go any further to explain today's title?  I'm hoping that you already know exactly what I mean, and go through this with your children.  For weeks we can have happy, well behaved children, and then, "BAM!"  They're gone.  Actually, it's more like a gradual shift to the monster children.  Yesterday, was the "BAM!"

Jadon and Christian began the day battling.  They fought over t-shirts, who had more cereal, who got to brush their teeth first, and who's t-shirt was "cooler".  Jadon shrieked and screamed while Christian just cried.  Joey worked his mouthy magic on me.  He rudely talked back to me about something so stupid, I can't even remember what it was.  Elia whined about almost everything and Grace just bopped around instigating everyone.

The boys were off to school and I had to run to the store.  About five minutes in, Elia had a major breakdown and started screaming.  I was dragging her by the hand to get to the check out and I ran into a friend.  It never fails.  Every time my kids are demonstrating monster behavior, I bump into someone I know.  I made no apologies and said, "She's bad.  We're going home to bed."  As I stood in the check out line, Gracie began to throw whatever she could reach onto the floor while screaming.  I wheeled those two to the car and angrily placed them in the car seat. 

The afternoon was more of the same.  Jadon came home with a note in his agenda because of some poor choices at school.  Joey fought with me about his homework.  The other kids ran around like wild animals.  My hero got home and for some stupid reason we went out to dinner.  Big mistake.  We ended up shovelling our meals as the girls yelled and whined. We played referee at the table.  It was a disaster.

 I looked at Joe in the car and said, "It's time to tighten the reigns!"  He knew it.  He's good about keeping them tight.  I fail sometimes.  Maybe if I keep them tight, even during the picture perfect happy times, we wouldn't unravel so badly. 

Today, I'm on a mission.  I will let no bad behavior slide.  I will get my happy, well behaved children back.  Until then, they're in time out!