Monday, March 28, 2011


I am wearing... a new flowy top from NY&Co.  Someone didn't show up for an appointment last night and I was irritated.  This lead me to the mall to pick up some 7/$25 undies at Victoria's Secret and a new outfit.  Shopping made me feel better.  Don't judge.

I am wondering... when I will be able to open my windows, and keep them open.

I am thankful for... my husband.  He is able to encourage me like no one else can.

I am overwhelmed by... my dirty bathroom.  Today, there are cocoa pebbles everywhere.  The boys tried to dump their leftover cereal in the toilet and missed horribly.  Now mixed in with the pee are disintegrating cocoa pebbles.  Toothpaste is splashed on the mirror and sink.  Underwear and dirty socks are on the floor.  Someone squirt hand soap everywhere and Christian opened an entire box of Dora band aids.  I don't know if I am motivated enough to clean it right now.  I may just shut the door.

I am eating... a Smart Ones Sante Fe Rice and Beans frozen meal.  I like this one because it leaves me feeling stuffed, as opposed to feeling like I ate a diet meal in four fork fulls.

I can hear... my girls singing along to the Fresh Beat Band.  "We had a great day, lalalalala la!"

I am going... to grow thicker skin.  Somehow.

I am hoping... that Christian is having a blast on his first field trip.  He's going to see Junie B. Jones at the Theater of Youth, followed by a pizza party.  I signed up for this field trip with Joey.  It was awfully boring.  I missed out on the zoo that year.  Now I know not to volunteer on the first field trip.  They save the best for last.  Rookie parenting mistake #403.

Around the house... the new crockpot Joe bought me is still sitting on the counter.  He came home with it about three weeks ago after I kept complaining about the broken one.  I've yet to use it.  I'm uninspired.  I've got a freezer full of meat in the basement, a crockpot staring me in the face, and no motivation to throw anything in there.  What should I put in the blasted thing?  It's supposed to make my life easier yet I feel so much pressure.

One of my favorite things... flowers for no reason.

Random picture for sharing...

Impromptu picture attempt before seeing Santa.  The Santa one was way better.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Things I Hate

Welcome to my newest blog topic...Things I Hate.

This morning I served waffles.  I had to run the four slice toaster three times to make enough food for my brood.  I stood their thinking, I needed to see if anyone sells a bigger toaster.  Even if it was a six slice I would be able to do one less round of toasting.  This though, is not what I hate.

I hate cutting up food for my children.  I cut twelve waffles into bite size pieces for the kids.  Since Joey has been able to chew, I've been cutting food.  I am in no rush for them to grow up, but I seriously can't wait until they can work their own forks and knives.  I cut up waffles, chicken, apples, steak, hot dogs, and pancakes.  I cut up pork, cake, pizza, turkey, and oranges.  Multiply all that cutting by five and I'm ready to put it in a blender and serve it in a cup.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011


Joe's helping Joey with his homework. 

Joey asks, "What's a contraction?"

Joe says, "When you put two words together to make a shorter one."

I overhear this from my room and yell, "NO IT'S NOT!" 

It's the worst pain in the world prior to pushing a child out of my female parts.

Monday, March 21, 2011

You Heard It Right

Joey came home from school and told me that his teacher wrote "hell" on the board.  I was like, what?!  It turns out the teacher was writing "hello" and paused briefly causing twenty third graders to bust a gut.  I asked Joey, "What did the teacher say?" 

Joey got serious and said, "He told us to act our age."

This lead to a discussion on inappropriate words.  The three boys began piping up about all the naughty things they have heard at school.  To my surprise no swear words came up.  They giggled and tried to outdo each other.  I bit my lip so I wouldn't join in on the laughter.  We then talked about how important it is to always do and say the right thing. 

A few seconds later Joey spoke up again and said they were talking about balls on the bus and all of the boys were laughing.  I think my eyes were bulging out of my head at that point.  Surely, he did not know what they were talking about.  I tried to play it cool. 

"What is wrong with talking about balls", I asked inquisitively.

He pops out of his chair, motions with both hands to his midsection, and YELLS, "You know mom, BALLS!"

I nearly fell over.  He said it so emphatically, almost gyrating his pelvis to emphasize his little boy parts.  I just had to walk away at that point. 

Friday, March 18, 2011

Five Question Friday

So, I thought it was Thursday.  It's not.  Here's FQF instead.  If you missed the blog about balls because I thought it was Thursday, check back tomorrow and I will repost.  I'm trying to keep up with Five Question Friday weekly.

1.  Have you ever testified in court?  For what?

Thankfully, no.  I'm very hopeful that it will remain no.

2.  Do you still have your wedding dress?

Of course!  Unfortunately, the basement flooded during the dreaded "October Storm."  My dress survived.  It's a little discolored now, sniff.  Really though, what am I ever going to do with the thing.  I had it in my head that one of my girls would wear it.  Let's face it, they are not going to wear it.  So, there it sits. 

3.  Is there a special place you like to go when you're happy, sad, stressed, etc.? 

Good question.  I don't really have a special place.  Maybe I need to get one?  I find the bathroom is the closest place to my sanctuary, and that's just wrong.  I do like to be on Joe's chest.  God designed our men to have a perfect place for us to nuzzle our heads into.  Do you know what I'm talking about?  It's like my head nuzzles perfectly onto his chest.  I like to go there for various occasions, I guess. 

4.  If you have kids, do you let them sleep with you?

Heck to the NO!  My bed is for me and Joe.  That's it. 

5.  Do you watch late night TV?

I feel like this is turning into a blog about my husband.  We watch late night TV.  Well, it's more like shows we DVR'ed.  Not "late night" TV.  I think of Letterman or infomercials when you put it that way.  We like House, How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory, and Food Network.  OK, I like Food Network.  He likes FOX News.  Late night TV is our time together.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

His Perspective

I got a text from my husband yesterday.  It said, "I have a great addition to your blog.  It will highlight the differences between the way husbands and wives look at things.  Call it His Perspective."

My immediate reaction was, Heck To The NO!  This is my blog.  There will be no blowing me in.  Face it, that's his plan. 

Then I concluded this may be a great idea.  We all know men and women think totally different.  The whole point of this blog was to keep it real.  I guess it's only fair to give my man the chance to offer his perspective if he so wishes. 

I'm a little scared but I think it will be great.  Look for "His Perspective" coming soon.  I bet he can't wait to offer his perspective on some of my posts like, "P M freakin' S", "Happy Valentine's Day", or "He Found It."

What do you girls think?  Should we allow some testosterone on 

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

He Took "IT" Out!

My phone rang last night while I was in a training class.  I didn't recognize the number, but knew it was someone in my area.  On my way home from class it rang again.  I was on another call and couldn't answer it.  They did not leave a message.  I googled the number but it was unlisted.  The phone rang again at 8:37 while I was in the bathroom.  I assumed it must be important and dialed back.

I learned it was a parent of a little girl in Jadon's class.  Crap.  Did I forget to send in the napkins for the party?  What day is it?  Did I miss St. Patrick's Day?  Did I forget to send in snack?  Was their a birthday party over the weekend?  I was trying to think of what the three phone calls could be related to. 

There was a pause and then I felt myself sinking into my bed as she stated the reason for the call.  My sweet, comical, precious Jadon, had done the unthinkable.  He showed his plump little behind and wiener to the little girl in his class, on the bus.  Oh, My, God!  I didn't even know what to say.  While I was mortified, I was also laughing a little on the inside because I know he doesn't fully understand how you absolutely cannot do that!  He does now.

It turns out, Jadon had a minor accident near the end of the day and was telling this girl he got pee in his pants.  He obviously wasn't embarrassed about it.  The girl began to question him and tell him she didn't believe him.  He insisted he did.  She insisted he didn't.  So, what's a boy to do?  He yanks his pants down and shows her his stuff!  I don't know how that would prove the point.  I'd tell her to feel my pants?  I don't know.  Either way, he took "IT" out, on the bus.  (Any Seinfeld fans feel me on this one?)

Really, I was mortified.  I apologized profusely and assured her we did not encourage this behavior and keep our parts in our pants at home.  My mind was racing thinking about what kind of family this woman must think we are. 

I hung up the phone and told Joe to go get me some chocolate and onion rings.  After about five minutes I was over it.  I decided I didn't care how bad of a mother that mom thought I was.  So my kid took "it" out.  Worse things have happened.  We talked to Jadon this morning and I can guarantee he won't do that again. 

 He is 6.  He is a boy.  He is still innocent. 

With a face like his, it's hard to be mad.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Dental Hygiene Month?

February was dental hygiene month at school.  February was also the boys regular check-ups at the dentist.  This home is filled with 9 new toothbrushes, 27 kid friendly floss thingies shaped like Buzz, 6 rolls of regular floss, and about 12 mini tubes of bubblegum sparkle toothpaste.  We've got dental products coming out of our ears mouths.

So, it was dental hygiene month.  There is something not very hygienic about 5 kids swapping brushes and flosses.  It's disgusting.  My husband keeps his toothbrush on top of the medicine cabinet where no one can find it.  God forbid if it touches one of the kids toothbrushes. 

The boys have opened every tube of toothpaste.  Why?  They are all the same flavor.  I've been cleaning the sparkly blue stuff off the shelf, out of the sink, off the counter, and from the mirror. 

Grace and Elia have also been carrying around the toothbrushes.  Grace sucks and chews on it while drool pours down her chin and unto her clothes.  She then paints the wall with the wet bristles.  I know what you're thinking, take the toothbrushes away.  If we didn't have seventy-two thousand, I would.  I think the kids are stashing them under their pillows or something.  Of course I'll also admit the toothbrush also keeps Grace entertained for hours.  No joke.  At least her teeth are clean?

This week Joey also admitted to me that he dropped my toothbrush in the toilet.  My husband started laughing.  He knew my toothbrush fell in the toilet and didn't tell me.  They said they used really hot water to clean it.  I'm brushing with a Snoopy toothbrush temporarily.

Hooray for Dental Hygiene "Nasty" Month.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Five Question Friday

I'm joining other blogger moms in "Five Question Friday."  Every Friday there are 5 random questions to be answered.  Since I'm not doing that well in the creative department lately, here you go.

1. Do you know what your real hair color is?

Yes.  It's dark brown.  I didn't color it for almost 6 years.  Then, I got some highlights.  Now I remember why I didn't color it.  It's too much freakin work!

2.  Do you plan ahead for summer, or fly by the seat of your pants?

A little bit of both.  We usually plan three camping trips.  The rest is one day at a time.  However, we usually come up with something to do everyday.  Otherwise, I'm counting the days 'til it's back to school!  We do love summer fun!

3.  What is your favorite meal to cook?

Is this a trick question?  I don't think I have one.  I hate cooking.  Alright, if I have to answer it's gotta be breakfast for dinner.  Eggs and bacon and pancakes and french toast.  Mmmmm.  It's pretty hard for me to mess that one up. 

4.  Do you get offended for not by not receiving thank you cards.

No way.  (Of course, I've been guilty of not sending them)  I know how busy my life is and I realize that goes for other people too.  Unless I bought someone a nasty sweater or tampons for their birthday, I'm fairly certain they appreciated my gift and just forgot to thank me.  I'm good with that.  No thank you needed.

5.  How did you meet your best friend?

I met him at a party.  He chased me around a friend's house spraying me with water.  I did not like him then.  I love him the most, now.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Poop. What Else is New?

I woke up Wednesday morning to Joe smacking me in the butt and yelling, "It's 8:20!"

Great.  I jumped out of bed to rush the boys through their morning routine.  Before I could enter the kitchen, I was smacked in the face with the god awful aroma of, poop.  Are you kidding me?  I got the boys breakfast and stuffed their backpacks before I opened the door to the girl's room.  I knew it wasn't going to be pretty and it would probably require a bath.

I got the boys breakfast and opened the door to the girl's room.  Elia shouts, "Good Morning!  I have poop!"

Really, like I couldn't smell it.  Upon further review I notice the poop is coming out the top of her pants and is on various parts of her bed.  So gross.  I strategically removed the pants and used paper towels to remove most of the brown mess.  She was placed in the tub.

Moving on, I went back to get Gracie.  I noticed she had what appeared to be a piece of mushy banana on her forehead and under her nose.  What in the world?  Looking closer this was no banana.  It too, was poop.  Her banana filled poop was all over her hands, her sheets, her crib, her face, and her hair.  It was coming out of her pj's in the same manner Elia's was.  You've gotta be kidding.  I'm certain she ate it.  This hasn't happened in forever, let alone to both of them at once.  Of course it had to happen on a day that we were all running late.  I cleaned her off with some paper towels and threw her poopy butt in the tub with Elia.  Dirty girls.  I think they plan this stuff.

What an awesome way to start the day.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Relay for Life

My office will be participating in Relay for Life on June 11, 2011.  We will celebrate, remember, and fight back against this disease.  Please visit my personal fundraising page for more information.  Together, we can make a difference.  I'm asking for you to partner with me in this event.

FRIENDS, Please consider making a donation.  Every dollar counts.  Whether it's $20, $10,  $5, or $ makes a difference.  If you make a donation of $5 or more, a luminary bag will be made on your behalf.  This will be in remembrance of a loved one who lost the battle.  Leave a comment with the details and  I will be sure to prepare a bag in their honor.
Click on the link below to make your secure donation. Thank you in advance.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Endless Messes

I'd like to point out that it is only 9:53AM.  At 9:53AM, I have already cleaned the following messes:
  • Spilled cereal and milk
  • Grace's bedding soaked with pee
  • The bathroom floor soaked with pee
  • Grace's pee soaked puppy.  Not her pee, but the pee that was left in the toilet when Jadon threw the kill the ant...that was crawling on the bathroom wall...when it landed in the toilet?  What?
  • Poop
  • My precious Timmy's that Grace dumped on herself immediately after I got her dressed.  No fear, it was cold because well, how often do I get to enjoy it hot.  Can I get a "Word!"
  • All of my bedding because the coffee spilled all over my bed
  • A floor full of dry cocoa puffs (Gracie attacks again)
  • Maple syrup that covered the table from breakfast
  • My shirt because I leaned on the syrup filled table
  • An entire cup of water (thank God) that the cat tipped over
  • Toothpaste which 3 boys spit all over the sink, counters, and mirror
  • Cocoa puffs, again
  • The entire contents of my bag (this mess compliments of Elia)
  • My diet Pepsi (because I lost my coffee) that I spilled all over the counter
I wish I was exaggerating.  I know you mom's feel me.  Calgon....

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

The World Stopped

Two nights ago, Gracie woke up crying.  She never wakes up at night.  It was around 11:00 and I was exhausted.  I waited a few minutes but she did not stop.  I quietly walked in her room and took her to my bed.  I held her in my arms and she nestled into my body.  She started to fall asleep so I took her back to bed and shut the door behind me. 

A few minutes later she woke up again.  I let her cry for a bit, but again, she would not stop.  She began calling my name.  As exhausted as I was, it was mommy to the rescue.

I brought her into bed with me and held her in my arms like she was a newborn.  Her long eyelashes fluttered as she fought to keep her eyes open.  Her big blue eyes stared deeply into mine.  She took long deep breaths.  I was all she needed.  She felt safe, secure, and loved in my arms.  Withing a minute she was sleeping.  Every care of my day was gone in that moment.  The world stopped.  As I watched her sleeping in my arms I was reminded of the day she was born.  I remembered carefully taking the precious moment in, just as I was doing again. 

Every so often she would move her little body to get more comfortable in my arms.  Eventually, she flipped over and her chest was against mine.  I watched her body move up and down with each breath she took.  She stayed there for an hour and I savored every moment of it.  When I put her back in her crib she was finally content.  As tired as I was, I was so thankful for her restless night.  It brought peace to mine.